I have come back to my blog after many months of not even looking here. Sadly I did not Tarry Here as I had thought I would when I first started this site and called it Tarry here. Maybe I should change its name to something more accurate. I write here at the beginning of 2018 knowing the things of 2017 are now passed and a new year is here, a blank page to fill with thoughts and ideas about Christfulness and Christian mindfulness and my journey with knowing God and following Jesus.

The WordPress site had the word Winsome as the word of today (the day I started writing again), encouraging bloggers to write with this theme. It surprised me because Winsome was a word God gave me many years ago. So as I start this year I will share that word with you and encourage you in your meditations about God.

Sometimes God wakes me up with a word, a song or a verse and if I am curious enough to follow God’s thoughts to new places in my thinking I often find God has prepared something amazing to find. One morning I woke with the word Winsome in my mind. I didn’t really know what it meant – so I googled. Winsome- adjective- Attractive and appealing in a fresh innocent way. I liked this meaning and wondered if there was more to this word than just a nice word. I even wondered if what I heard was actually “Win Some” as in win a number of people to Christ- becoming a verb to do something. This didn’t resonate with me. As I had not seen the word written down and only heard it I put the verb on the backburner until God revealed something more about it.

Some years ago I was nicknamed “Pollyanna” because I would have an unrealistic optimism in the face of difficult circumstances. The term Pollyanna was not spoken as a compliment but rather as an unflattering nickname – being excessively cheerful and optimistic rather than being realistic.  It took a few days before I realised that Winsome is also a girl’s name not just an adjective. As a name its meaning is the same –attractive and appealing in a fresh innocent way. How I would rather be nicknamed Winsome than Pollyanna.

Revelation 2:17b ..To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.

Pollyanna was a popular children’s story written in 1913 by Eleanor Porter. The main character is an orphan girl called Pollyanna who lived with her strict and unhappy aunt. She remembers a game her father had taught her before he died called the Glad game. In every circumstance she would look for something to be glad about. As she taught this game to the townsfolk they responded enthusiastically. Later when Pollyanna had struggles of her own the same people reminded her of the game she had taught them.

Jesus spoke that it is important to come into his kingdom as little children. Childlikeness is such an important aspect to seeing God’s ways. This way of seeing the world may appear naïve and innocent but it is precious to God.

1 Corinthians 1:2 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

So the name Winsome has resonated with me- a childlikeness and carefree spirit which endears itself to others but is precious to God. But Pollyanna was the name that others had bestowed on me.

The truths I found when I looked deeper into the story of Pollyanna are as follows.

When I approach my day with a childlikeness, I learn to see God at work in the little things, as well as the wonder of discovery. Children see God at work when adults often do not. Children worship with purity- not self-conscious or self-promoting but entirely as if God is the only one watching. It is in this secret place of living life not for the eyes of people but for God’s eyes alone that character is formed. How would I live if I had this moment by moment awareness that in everything I do God is my one and only audience?

Every difficult circumstance is an opportunity to see God at work. Children don’t worry about where every meal comes from and if the bills will get paid. They trust that their parents will take care of the details. In the same way having a childlike trust that my Heavenly Father will provide and make a way through the difficulties of life is a Pollyanna way of living. It requires opening my eyes and expecting to see God’s hand to be present in every moment even when it is not at first obvious.

When I notice what God is doing I can turn to him with thankfulness. It means I am not focusing on the places where my life is still under a trial, but on what God is doing in the midst. Every trial is an opportunity to learn something new which God intends me to master.  These moments of learning new lessons start off easy but over time the lessons get harder. Eventually I may go through a trial which brings me pain or hardship but the resulting skills and upgrades are worth enduring the pain through to completion. I can bring God my moments of difficulty and ask him to show me what he is doing in this season and then be grateful for his hand in my life.

1 Peter 1:6-7 Be glad about this, even though it may now be necessary for you to be sad for a while because of the many kinds of trials you suffer. Their purpose is to prove that your faith is genuine. Even gold, which can be destroyed, is tested by fire; and so your faith, which is much more precious than gold, must also be tested, so that it may endure. Then you will receive praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed. Good News Bible

I later read somewhere that the name Pollyanna has another meaning when it is broken down. The meaning of Polly is multiple or multifaceted and the meaning of Anna is grace. I now see that Pollyanna is a name that means multifaceted or multiplied grace.

The “Pollyannas” of God will be winsome and compelling hope reformers who disarm evil through a divine innocence, presence, and power that only the Holy Spirit can impart to and through human beings. Bob Hartley Elijah List 25^th July 2013 http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word.html?ID=12379

I was sitting on a train and watched a young family interacting on the journey.  A young mother and father and their infant daughter were going on a trip.  The little child was strapped in a stroller and clearly was in the beginning phases of learning language.  She called for a “nana” which I interpreted was a banana. The mother had to deny her daughter the fruit as the train has a strict no eating policy on board.  After a little cry the girl started to sing, “Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are.” I recognized the song even though the words were indistinct and the tune was barely perceptible.  I closed my eyes and imagined this mother holding her daughter and singing this song while pointing to all the stars in the sky above.  Little children are in a world of wonder and discovery. Little children readily trust in a Heavenly Father. But many children sadly have God taught out of them by parents who have lost their own childlike wonder.

Today’s Christian mindfulness skill – is about rediscovering childlike wonder.

Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” Luke 18:15-17

I can relate to the disciples in this verse from the gospel of Luke.  They were aware of the many people who wanted an audience with Jesus. They were sure that Jesus had more important work to do such as healing the sick and teaching more about God’s kingdom.  So when some little children pushed through the crowd to come near the seated Jesus- they took action.  “Go back to your parents, little children. Can’t you see Jesus is tired? Jesus needs to rest before he does more healing and teaching.”

I can see myself being like the disciples to send the children away.  But Jesus tells the disciples to let the children come. Then Jesus blesses the children.  I think Jesus recognized the childlike wonder in children when he said that the Kingdom of God belongs to children and that to enter it you had to become like a child.  I  needed to hear these words- life had robbed me of childlike wonder and I had become too serious about all the adult responsibilities of life.

There was another time when Jesus defended the children. It was when Jesus came on a donkey riding triumphant into Jerusalem just a few days before the Passover.  The crowds were cheering and waving palm fronds.  Jesus made his way to the temple and there he did something which seemed quite angry and spirited. He chased away all the people selling animals, and changing money in the temple courts, then he started to heal the blind and the lame again. Into this picture, some children were still cheering for Jesus – Hosanna son of David they cried.  But the chief priests and scribes were indignant and asked Jesus to tell them to be quiet.  Jesus defended the children as giving “perfect praise.”  Matthew 21:12-16

Have you come to a place of the drudgery of life–work- paying bills- laundry – shopping-cooking- cleaning- taking care of family and pets- and in the middle of this busy life, childlike wonder seems a distant dream.  One day while in a sad moment, I remember hearing God speak to me about switching childlike wonder back on.  I tried to remember when it had been switched off.

I remember the childlike wonder of exploring new places.  We moved a lot in my childhood so it was a frequent occurrence- exploring a new neighbourhood.  I remember the childlike wonder of discovering guppies in a local pond and spending hours trying to catch a few to populate a pickle jar aquarium. I remember all the tree houses my brothers and I tried to make- some failed spectacularly – others were amazing but twinged with the adrenaline of being quite high up and somewhat dangerously closer to power lines. We spent days on each new tree house only coming in when called for dinner.

I remember the childlike wonder of looking up into space through my brother’s telescope which he had bought for a few dollars.  Seeing the moon and its craters and then finding Saturn and seeing all the rings, just like in the books. We could look up for hours and find amazing things which reinforced the sense of wonder.  God made us to wonder at the mysteries of life.  Some things are not answered in the bible.  Why this moment and this time that God became real to me?  Why not someone else – they heard the same things but turned away?   Why did God bless me with seeing something that others didn’t see? I really don’t have an answer. I am not any different to other people. Yet I am grateful to hearing God and seeing His presence in the everyday. Suddenly I am in a daily treasure hunt for the next thing that God is showing me. God really has  awakened wonder.  Each day God reveals a bit more of Himself and His amazing creation to me.

Can I encourage you to start being curious about the incidents of life where there isn’t a ready explanation. Look beyond the things which seem to be mundane and ask God to show Himself to you. Have an expectancy of God showing up. Could God be showing you something even in the chores of life? Childlike wonder starts with the thought that God is speaking all of the time- through words, through people, through incidents and even through nature.  Start seeing the everyday miracles which God gives us and then share them with your children or write them down to remember. Then really remember them- pass them on and see if you can awaken childlike wonder in the people in your life.

This week I asked my brother to bring his telescope to the youth group.  It was the same telescope that we looked through as teenagers.  We introduced the youth group to some of the same wonder we had so many years ago.

Psalm 78

Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth!

2 I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old,

3 things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us.

4 We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children,

6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children,

7     so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments;

May we never lose our wonder..

I don’t know why that phrase kept coming to my mind a couple of months ago.  I had listened to a teaching series by Graham Cooke on Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit and it was a subheading for one of the teachings. I  had thought the Olympic Games are not far away so maybe it had something to do with that. I had always thought of the Olympic Games as great games- athletics and sport which brings people together with a celebration of connection and physical stamina and endurance but also of national pride.  But it wasn’t the Olympic Games which kept coming to my mind.  I kept thinking that the Holy Spirit wants to play with us, and these are the Great Games of the Spirit.

Each one of us has a spirit inside of us- that gets moved to tears at times or bursts into action with causes we believe in. Our spirit lives forever- and according to my Bible my spirit is more tangible than the physical world which is passing away. 1 Cor 7:31 …for the world in its present form is passing away. And yet there is something eternal about connecting with the Holy Spirit and living in a realm of the spirit.

What are the Games of the Holy Spirit?  I started pondering this phrase which is not in my bible. I recalled that when my children were little and learning a new skill if I made it into a game they picked it up quickly.  Potty training was like this.  I had a little red potty for my children to sit in and it had a little white plastic tray which attached to the front so that my child was unable to get off the potty easily. On the tray I would put a few interesting toys- puzzles or even play dough to keep my child sitting down.  Potty training began as a game. Later when they were in first grade the school teacher had a game for learning to read. It was called Jolly Phonics. Each night we played the game which included songs and actions. It was not a chore but a pleasure to do this game with my children. After they learnt to read they didn’t need to play the game anymore, but when their younger siblings were in grade one the same game became a family event as the older child recalled the songs and actions.

The Holy Spirit is like this in teaching us new skills.  He too can make it into a game. I remember one day while having a shower hearing His voice. It was joyful and playful, “Come outside I want to show you something.”  At first I was intrigued.  I clearly heard something in my spirit but it wasn’t an audible voice.  I had to get dry and then dressed but all the time I was getting excited. The Holy Spirit – wants to show me something. What could it be? So I walked outside with my eyes open to something that might be a little treasure from God.  At first I saw a bunch of cherry tomatoes which were bright red on a plant that had grown from seeds that I hadn’t cultivated.  At a distance they looked red and ripe but when I got closer I could see that they were all past their prime and had spots on the undersides.  This wasn’t what the Holy Spirit wanted to show me.  I walked further into the yard. There behind the trampoline, we have a small fig tree.  It has struggled over 15 years of growth to get only 1 metre tall. We had transplanted the tree when we landscaped the yard, but it still had not flourished. Then the neighbours chopped down a large tree which overshadowed our yard and I had expected my fig tree to bloom but not then either.  Now as I walked into the yard I could see that my fig tree looked different. There on one branch were 5 figs. Not quite ripe but on the way to being fruit to eat.  I couldn’t see any figs on any of the other branches. This was surprising – why only on one branch.  So I asked the Holy Spirit- what does this mean?  I didn’t expect an answer so soon. I walked upstairs and opened my bible at John 15 and there I read

 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Jesus spoke these words to his disciples not long before he was crucified.  I suddenly saw Jesus speaking these words to me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

That word spoke to me for many months as I recalled it. It was about abiding in Him and listening to His voice and remaining in that place of abiding.  The Great Games of the Holy Spirit are about listening to His voice and having my spiritual ears open to hearing and then being able to meditate and ask questions to receive more understanding.  Sometimes I see something and an image remains with me for a long time and this is having spiritual eyes open to what the Holy Spirit is teaching me.  Again it can be a game as I learn this new skill.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit wants to play a game of surprise. He wants to surprise us with knowing the little details of our lives. I remember a few years ago on a family holiday to Tasmania I wanted to meet Sirpa who was a dear friend to my late mother.  I looked up this lady in the phone book and checked online sources for information on how to find her but without success. I didn’t know she had changed her surname.  But the Holy Spirit likes to surprise us.  One morning I couldn’t find my bible for my daily reading.  Instead of forgetting about it and giving myself a holiday from reading, I decided to venture out to buy another bible. My son and I walked around the city streets and went into one book shop. They didn’t have any bibles but the shop attendant directed me to a Christian bookstore about 2 blocks away.  We walked together to this shop and browsed for 10 minutes while I chose a Message bible.  We went to the counter to pay for our purchase and while there I turned around and then the surprise.  Sirpa was standing in line behind me. It was such a surprise. We hugged and cried together at this amazing divine appointment.  Sirpa told me that she had a doctor’s appointment close to this shop and had arrived 15 minutes early to buy a birthday present for her daughter. She had seen me coming to visit her in a dream three days before. God directed me to the same shop to be there at exactly the same time. I know the Holy Spirit hid my bible that morning so I would go out to look for another bible. I later found my bible in the hire car. I just imagined the Holy Spirit chuckling at all of this- behind the scenes organisation, that brought me and Sirpa together that morning. These are the Great Games of the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes I get heavy with carrying loads that I am not supposed to be carrying. As a mother I worry about my children. I worry they might not make right choices, and might not become all that God intends them to become. In that moment Holy Spirit reminds me that He has given me promises about my children.  I trust Him to be faithful to His word. I remember that it is satan who tells me to worry and brings an image of something that might go wrong.  I decide in that moment to not partner with the enemy of my soul whose only weapon is intimidation. The only power the enemy has to inflict damage is when I give him the power.  In the Great Games of the Holy Spirit I am learning about recognising that other voice that comes to take away my peace and then learning the art of disempowering the enemy with rejoicing in all my circumstances. When I remember that the Prince of Peace has promised to never leave me or forsake me, I can hold my peace and rejoice no matter what the circumstances.

However there are times when I fail to realise this truth, it is just like I am a small child learning to walk and my faltering steps are interrupted by a tumble.  God the Father and the Holy Spirit and Jesus are there urging me to get up and try again. They don’t get upset by my fall, they just urge me to get up and walk again. They know that one day I will be walking automatically and then I will learn to run.

Today in your Christian mindfulness journey- fill up on the Holy Spirit.  Walk in all of your days with an expectancy that the Holy Spirit will teach you new skills and sometimes it comes in the form of a game. Enjoy!

I had a literal and spiritual soaking time with Jesus last night. A hot bath with communion on a stool beside the bath and worship music in the background. I spent some time talking to Jesus and this is what I heard him say.

“What is the opposite of introspection?” 

I wasn’t sure of the answer and said I would look it up later when I got out of the bath- but the word “extrospection” was in my mind. I wasn’t sure if that was a real word or not or if I was just making it up. So I asked what it means and these thoughts came to my mind, I believe by the Holy Spirit.

– “Introspection is the process of looking inwardly and meditating on your inner world and what is happening inside of you but extrospection is the process of looking outwardly and seeing what is happening in the world around you.” I pondered this further and thought I would still look it up to check if it was a real word. I had been aware that in the past month I have been doing a lot of introspection. When I looked inwardly and didn’t like what I saw, I became morose and doubted myself. There were  times when I started to think very negative thoughts about myself.  Maybe I needed to be focused elsewhere.

Then I recalled a snippet of a You Tube clip I had heard during the day. Graham Cooke mentioned “the fruit of the Spirit is more powerful than gifts of the Spirit.”   But now in the bath, maybe the Holy Spirit was bringing this statement to my mind for a reason.  I started to meditate on the fruit of the Spirit. I remember someone once saying that there is really only one fruit and each of the things listed in Galatians 5:22-23 are the characteristics of that fruit.  Just like I can describe an apple as red or green, crunchy, sweet with a hint of bitterness, juicy, and having a specific aroma which is typical of the type of apple I am describing.  So in the same way the fruit of the Spirit has a lot of characteristics- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.  Each of these describes the fruit of the Spirit so we can get a picture of what it feels, looks, tastes and smells like.

I recalled Graham also saying something about self-control being the fruit of the fruit of the Spirit. I pondered this also and wondered why. Is it a chicken and egg metaphor? Which comes first? To show love I am demonstrating self-control but love is also the basis of the other characteristics.  I pondered- How can I be loving and unkind? How can I be loving and harsh? How can I be loving and unfaithful? How can I be loving and impatient at the same time?  I think love is the one characteristic that connects all the other aspects of the fruit of the Spirit. However when I demonstrate each of the characteristics- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and faithfulness then self-control is also evident. I need self-control to demonstrate the others and I need love to be the primary characteristic. Love and self-control are like book ends to the other characteristics.

I recalled that in Ephesians 3:17b-19 Paul prays for us “I pray that you being rooted and grounded (established) in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  And in 1 Corinthians 13:1b-3 Paul writes, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.”  (NIV)

I realise that Paul is saying that love trumps the gifts of the Holy Spirit – tongues, prophecy, faith, wisdom, words of knowledge and miraculous powers (eg to resist the flames as Daniel’s friends did in the Old Testament).  So maybe the Fruit of the Spirit is more powerful than the gifts of the Spirit especially when we speak of the one characteristic Love.  Love trumps all gifts and is the most powerful force that God gives to us. The Apostle John in his letters wrote that God is LOVE- so it must be God’s most primary or basic nature. When we are grounded in love and start to grasp the unmeasurable love of God towards us, this empowers us to love others and become a conduit of love to the world around us.

When you experience the love of Jesus you are fully empowered to love the most unlovable person on earth. It is not hard to give away love when you have an immeasurable source of love being continuously poured into your life already. It may take small steps of practicing love towards the person but by first behaving in a loving manner towards someone who is hard to love, the feelings come afterwards. Love flows out from a place of already being loved perfectly.  I remember that in order to learn a new skill you practice it first.  Practice is not faking it. Practicing love is making loving actions towards a person whether you feel anything or not. Small actions of kindness, moments of showing patience, remaining faithful to a promise, speaking calm, loving words to someone who is anxious, replying with a gentle answer to someone who is angry, making good actions and choices during difficult and trying times can all be demonstrations of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. They are evidence of the power that resides within you – the very nature of God that is being formed in you by the Holy Spirit. The difficulty I have is that I don’t fully trust God’s love towards me- and this doubt robs me of the experience of being completely loved. My challenge is to walk in this love and grasp the connection with Jesus – the depth and height and width and length of God’s love towards me. On this Christian mindfulness journey God’s love is a powerful motivator and it satisfies my soul like no other.

I now recalled the word about extrospection (the opposite of introspection) and wondered how that fitted in with my rambling thoughts on the fruit of the Spirit.  In the past when I have thought about the fruit of the Spirit it was always with a sense of how I didn’t measure up to Jesus.  I was never loving enough, or kind enough, or patient enough etc.  I was being introspective and comparing myself with an impossible goal of perfection. What would happen if I stopped being introspective and intentionally became extrospective?  The love of God is meant to be given out. It is not to be hoarded. By changing my focus to outside myself, I see the world with new eyes and pass on what I have received but I also see myself differently- as perfectly loved and accepted by my God.

I know that it is a common experience in life that at some point you and I will be disappointed. We have all had some friendships that haven’t worked the way we expected and there have been plenty of moments of being hurt, betrayed, ignored, abused or violated. These moments can seem awful and can send us in a tailspin of negative thoughts and reactions. Today I am writing about disappointment with God.

In my Christian mindful journey I have recalled times when I had experienced a disappointment with God. And my prayer is that if you have gone through difficult experiences, traumatic moments and wondered where is God in the midst of the pain, then read on and see if there is a way to get through these times with joy, peace and finding that God has not, did not and will not abandon you.

I’m going to start by looking at an example that I found in the gospels that was about a very real disappointment that someone had in Jesus. You may find it hard to believe that someone was disappointed in Jesus.  I mean Jesus is the Son of God. He lived a perfect life and the Bible says he was without sin and yet someone was very disappointed. Let me tell you the story.  Jesus had a cousin. He was John the Baptist who was some months older than Jesus. We don’t have a lot of information about John and Jesus playing together in their childhood but we do have information that their mothers were close and spent time together before either of the boys was born. (Luke 1:39-66) We also know that John the Baptist’s father was a priest in a Judean town. Their families traveled each year to spend time in Jerusalem for celebratory feasts. (It is quite possible that the boys met during these feasts though this is not recorded in scripture.)

As John got older he  started preaching about God on the shores of Jordan River and masses of people lined up to hear him speak. He urged the crowds to turn back to God and plenty of people did just that. They were sorry for ignoring God and wanted to start afresh and demonstrated this change of heart by being baptised in the river. (Mark 1:1-8)

At some point in time, John had heard God tell him that someone was coming who would be greater than him. And that this person would be the Christ or the Messiah. When Jesus his cousin came along, John recognised that this was the person he was waiting for and he made an announcement.

“Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. This is the one who I meant when I said, ‘A man coming after me has surpassed me.’ The reason I came to baptise is so that he might be revealed to Israel…. I have seen and testify that this is the Son of God.” (John 1:29-34)

Later John is put in prison for making public statements critical about the current Herod. While John is in prison some of his followers check out what Jesus is doing and they report back to John. I don’t know for sure what they reported, but I can imagine they bring back a report of one of Jesus’ first public messages. Jesus preaches, “The spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.” (Luke 4:18-21)

To John in prison these words sound like great news. Jesus has come to proclaim freedom for prisoners- just like him. I can imagine that John might have got excited that his cousin Jesus knows about this hell hole he is in and maybe soon he will be out again. But Jesus doesn’t come. He doesn’t visit. He doesn’t send a care package. Surely Jesus would have done something to show he cares about the circumstances that John is in. Jesus doesn’t do what John wants. So John sends his followers back to Jesus and asks them to question if Jesus is really who John announced him to be at the Jordan River- the Christ the Son of God.  Jesus doesn’t answer this question- he just tells the followers to report back what they see- people being healed and good news being preached to the poor. (Luke 7:18-23)

I guess when we have friends who don’t do what we expect them to do – we can get disappointed. We can think badly of our friends. We can spread gossip and say what a bad person they are if they didn’t do what we asked. We can feel the same way about God. Maybe you have prayed an earnest prayer and believed God would heal you, or fix a circumstance you are in. Yet it hasn’t happened.  In this place of disappointment we can start to express this to others. “God is not really there – He doesn’t care about me so He can’t be a good God…”

Or we can turn the disappointment internally and blame ourselves for our friendship going awry. “I must have been too clingy for him, so he doesn’t like me anymore.” We can do this with God also. “I mustn’t have enough faith for God to heal me. God doesn’t listen to my prayers because I am too sinful.” I am aware that there is a time for honest self reflection about our behaviours which may contribute to relationships going awry. But one relationship that I know is always there for me, is the one I have with God. He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me so I can stand on this promise whether I have been faithful or sinful or not. It is in God’s side of the equation that His arms are always open to receive me whenever I have strayed. It is my side of the equation to keep turning towards him because when I doubt Him I have already turned away in my heart.

Yet there is more to the Jesus and John story that I haven’t covered. Jesus did do something after John’s followers had left. He spoke about his cousin and said he was more than a prophet and was the one about whom it had been written “I will send a messenger to prepare the way for you.” Jesus even said that among those born of women there was no-one greater than John. Jesus spoke about what people had seen in John and how it had made them feel about coming closer to God. Jesus honoured  his cousin. But John’s followers had already left and they didn’t hear it. (Luke 7:24-35) Jesus had a mission to complete and he made the tough decision that this mission was greater than one person.  Later after John was beheaded Jesus went off by himself to mourn in private. (Matthew 14:13) It cost him something.

We don’t always give people the benefit of the doubt when they disappoint us. We don’t always know the full facts of what is going on. In just the same way we don’t have the full facts about the greater eternal picture as we go through tough stuff with God. It is tempting in this place of trial to say that God is not on my side but what I have found is that it is my perspective that needs to change.

Great friendships are forged through difficult times. God is big enough to cope with my disappointments. I found that when I have had moments of thinking God has abandoned me – I can express this to God and He is not offended. He is goodness is not being called into question but my emotions and how relevant they are to the eternal view.

True friends can cope with the times when someone says no to a request. God is the truest of friends and sometimes His answer to a request to fix a circumstances is a firm “no”. When He does this, it is not to make me mad or to frustrate me, but for me to recognise that there is a bigger picture that I may not have understood. God cares more about the eternal view and the developing of my character than my temporary comfort. I am learning to trust His perspective more and to ask for His perspective to be revealed to me when I am still under the fog of only seeing the moment that I am going through as somehow more important than the eternal view.

I am under a delusion if I think I can manipulate God to do my bidding. This one thing I do know- when I have recognised my  pride in thinking that I can control God- I can instantly say sorry and God is right there ready to resume where we left off on our conversation.

God is always good and His perspective brings me to a higher place where I can see the bigger picture and what it means in eternity and for this I am forever grateful. I imagine when John the Baptist got to heaven he was honoured for the mission he completed on earth and finally the bigger eternal picture of his place in revealing Jesus to the world became clear. John’s voice still speaks the same words written in scripture, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.”

One of the mindfulness processes is to live in the present moment. This is about being aware of the moment that you are living in at any time. It requires an engagement with whatever is in your vicinity or viewpoint as it is happening. This is well worth practicing but in reality it is quite hard to do. Our minds tend to wander and we get caught in daydreams or reliving past moments or we disengage and walk through life on autopilot as we navigate difficult moments. But even our daydreams can be present focused when we connect to God. I am going to suggest that by connecting with God and hearing His voice I become God’s not-so-secret-agent on this earth. This is such a positive life giving activity that it is worth pursuing God just to hear His voice.

By connecting with God, I bring my focus into the here and now. God is timeless and yet He occupies the present. When we mull on the events of the past; we relive our most painful or traumatic memories or perhaps our sweetest moments, we are not being present focused. Alternatively we can live in our imagination of the future- for example, fearing a catastrophe or building a future empire.  Both of these mind activities detracts from living fully engaged in the present moment unless I bring God into the picture.

The writer of the book of Hebrews described Jesus as the same yesterday today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) Later in the book of Revelations, Jesus calls himself- the Alpha and Omega- a reference to the beginning and the end. These time-based words signify that Jesus as God is unchanging and timeless- He was present at the beginning of time and will be present at the end of time. When I bring my fears of catastrophe to Jesus- I am being present focused. I trust the Unchanging One who knows the future, to have an answer for my fears. I hear words of comfort in my mind – “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5),“My perfect love casts out your fear”(1 John 4:18) and “For I have not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). So I can leave my fears with Jesus and rest on his promises to be with me.

Jesus when he walked on this earth spoke multiple times of only doing what the Father told him to do. When Jesus began his ministry his own family and village were perplexed.  At his inauguration speech in Nazareth, Jesus got up and read from a familiar passage in Isaiah 61. He knew that this was his mission statement. His assignment was written out hundreds of years before by the prophet Isaiah. Jesus was on a mission to do the mandate of his Heavenly Father- to heal the sick, to set free captives, to open blind eyes and make the deaf hear and declare God’s kingdom on earth. But only a few people in his home town understood the significance. Yet Jesus intentionally turned towards his destiny in Jerusalem, as the same prophet Isaiah, foretold of the suffering Messiah who dies to save many (Isaiah 53).

Jesus lived on this earth intentionally in the present moment. He recognised that each day and week and month had an ebb and flow. There were times of increased activity and times of slowing down. He had sick people coming to him at all hours and then he withdrew to a quiet place. There were times of speaking to crowds for hours and missing meals and then times of sailing in a boat for a distant shore. There were times of just walking and talking with his disciples, and then there were times of feasting and enjoying life with new friends in new places.   Yet in all these times Jesus connected with his Heavenly Father. Jesus intentionally embraced his death at the cross to pay the price for our sins with his blood. In doing so Jesus fully completed his mission on earth. Nothing was left undone. “It is finished,” he said from the cross.

When Jesus left this earthly life, he commissioned his followers to do the things he did and even more than he did. He left his disciples to be his agents on this earth. They were open in who and what they were doing so they were not secret.  How do I become God’s not-so-secret agent? Agents need to keep in contact with their “handler” for the most up to date information from headquarters. In the same way I need to have continuous connection with my Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit residing in me giving me the most up to date information for my day to day tasks.  My mandate from Heaven includes the same things that Jesus did- to heal the sick and to preach the gospel and make disciples, while living an intentional life of a son or daughter of God.

I know that my connection to Jesus is the most important aspect of fulfilling my mandate. Jesus said that if we abide in Him we can do the things He did. But if we don’t abide in Him we are like a branch that is cut off from the vine and doesn’t produce any fruit and we can do nothing (John 15). So my most important Christian mindful task is to abide in Jesus in every moment.

I am aware that each day has a plan for good works that God intends for me to do. I live in the moment by moment realisation that if there is something for me to do then the Holy Spirit will bring it to my attention at the time I need to know and at the place I have the ability to do something about it. It is my intention to be attentive for the prompts from the Holy Spirit. I don’t always succeed in this however.

One day as I was driving to work, I had a daydream about the patient I was about to see. It was quite unusual because in this daydream I was speaking to this person about God and each part of the conversation was shown to me. I thought that the Holy Spirit was prompting me to pray for this person. I don’t usually speak about God in my consulting room and would not do so unless asked by the patient. So I prayed, “Lord if you want me to speak to this man, will you get him to ask me about You?” Then I heard a still small voice, “His mother is praying for him,” and I knew this was the voice of God preparing me to speak to this man.

An hour later as I was finishing my consultation with this man, I asked-“Do you have any questions for me?” He replied, “My mother has been bugging me about faith, what does faith mean to you?” And the next half hour I spoke naturally about God to this confessed atheist. He didn’t change his mind about God that day but went away with alternative ways to consider God.  My prayer is that these words as seeds have been planted into his soul. One day they will sprout into a faith that grows as others water the seeds with their words and finally the Holy Spirit tugs at his soul so convincingly that he finds God for himself.

God transcended the principles of time and gave me a glimpse of something from the future.  This memory has been fixed in my mind of a moment where I became God’s not-so-secret agent to a man who clearly needed to hear that God loved him. God heard his mother’s prayer and organised to show me the conversation with her son ahead of time. I had the opportunity to hear and obey at that moment and I am glad that I did. I haven’t always succeeded so my prayer is to hear God clearly and obey boldly because I know when I do that I cannot fail in my mission.

Are you willing to be God’s not-so-secret agent? It may mean being in a constant connection with your Heavenly Father in prayer. It may mean not being as worried about tomorrow and the things which have yet to happen. It might mean letting go of the endless rumination about the things which have already happened. Be thankful that each day is a new opportunity to connect with the Divine and to be aware that He has a task for you to do that He knows you cannot fail.

I love the colour green. My friends know it and often I am the recipient of green clothes, handbags  and other items for birthday and Christmas presents.  I love to go on holidays to green places full of wonderful plants and scenery.  In my Christian mindfulness I am so thankful for this beautiful planet that God has given us to enjoy. Each fascinating insight into this world brings me a step closer to understanding the Creator God who made it for my enjoyment.

One of the processes that I use during Christian mindfulness meditation is an intentional awareness of my senses. We have 5 physical senses that our body uses to build a picture of the world around us as we navigate life. Our sight – being able to see a visual picture through our eyes and have our brain interpret that image so that it makes sense. Our hearing- being able to hear subtle sounds and detect the sounds of danger and the sounds of safety so that our bodies can interpret language and communication and keep us connected to each other.  Our taste- with this sense concentrated in our mouth to detect which foods are appropriate and to reject foods which may cause harm. Our sense of smell has such an ability to evoke memories and reminders of places of intimacy and safety and comfort. Our sense of touch and feel- which is such an important sense to allow us to move our bodies from danger in an instant, and be tickled or touched intimately. All of these senses are gifts from God to assist with being human and connecting with each other and with God.

As well as physical senses, God has also given us spiritual senses. Jesus spoke many times about the people around him having eyes but not seeing and having ears but not hearing.( Matthew 13:11-17;  John 9:39; John 8:43). The reason Jesus spoke in parables was– that the ones with spiritual eyes and ears would see what he was speaking about and hear what the words meant.  When people ask Jesus to be their Lord and saviour they invite the Holy Spirit to come into their life.  This same Holy Spirit has a spiritual language that he uses to speak to us.  I’m not talking about a divine spiritual gift of tongues but of the language of the Spirit which has a meaning beyond the words that are spoken. Jesus spoke in the language of the Spirit. He spoke of things – very natural things that were a symbol or a metaphor of spiritual truths. So there is a language of the Spirit which if we have ears to hear we will hear it. If we have spiritual eyes we will see it.  So understanding comes into your heart and it brings a turning to Jesus, a repentance from the past and allows a healing to come into your life. In Matthew 13:15 Jesus says “For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.”   NIV

I can connect with Jesus at any time of the day or night. I ask for the Holy Spirit to show me the things that I need to see and to hear the things that I need to hear. I ask for eyes that see the spiritual- the images or the metaphors of the Spirit, and hear the words from the Holy Spirit the language of God  and understand what this truth means. I want spiritual understanding so that my heart is changed and I repent of dead works and turn to Jesus to do works of life that the Holy Spirit leads me to.

I want to finish this blog with a small analogy that I hope has a spiritual significance. I asked the Holy Spirit for some inspiration on what to write and the word “Chlorophyll” came into my mind. I knew that this was from God as it wasn’t something I would have thought of myself.  This is an example of spiritual hearing.  The word Chlorophyll is an example of Spiritual language. God intends for me to know more than the plain definition of that word.

Plants use a chemical called Chlorophyll to convert light energy from the sun into chemical energy for fuel for the plant to enable growth.  Each plant holds these chlorophyll components in their leaves and stems and this imparts a green colour.  We can’t see the conversion of the light energy into chemical energy. It is something that scientists have been able to work out with research and testing. We believe the scientists have proven the existence of Chlorophyll and yet there is still a mystery in this. The plants use dead air full of carbon dioxide and are able in the same process of energy conversion to make clean air- full of oxygen. While the process inside the plant brings about life and growth in the plant it also impacts the world around it by producing oxygen. All of these things are possible because the plant was impacted by light. Plants  leaves follow the sun. They turn to the sun to get the most sunlight possible. Plants compete for the best exposure to the sun to capture the light which then becomes chemical energy and also oxygen.

Right now while I write this blog my family is on holidays in a very green place. It is a tropical location with rain forests and beaches and plenty of green plants of every size and shape. Without exposure to light many plants die off or remain stunted in their growth. But in the light they thrive and impact the environment. We traveled in a cable car yesterday to observe the rain forest canopy and saw plenty of plants which have taken residence in the tops of the rain forest trees. The whole scene was very lush and green.  I took lots of photos until my camera battery died. Just as we were finishing the ride, two beautiful  azure blue butterflies burst out of the canopy into a dance in the sunlight. They were obvious to us as they were of a brilliant blue colour and didn’t blend into the green canopy. I gasped at their blueness and thanked my heavenly Father for making such intricate creatures for my enjoyment at that moment. But I also thanked him for the greenery, the plants that were so abundant in my sight.

You are like a plant. How are you like a plant you may ask? Let me explain. God created you to worship God and to do the good works destined for you. Jesus said he is the light of the world in John 8:12 and that if we follow Jesus we will never walk in darkness. By seeking Jesus, turning to him to be exposed to his light continuously, we too become reflectors of light and Jesus. The colour green in the plants is a reflection. We see green because all the spectrum of colour is being absorbed except the green which is reflected and becomes the colour we see. By following Jesus you too will experience growth and a turning of your dead works into good works that are your destiny to do. You will impact your environment because of the light of life that you have been exposed to. You too will reflect Jesus in all that you do and all that you say. I pray you have spiritual  eyes to see this and spiritual ears to hear these words and to understand in your heart and be healed.

When I was 7 years old I started to read books. I came across C.S Lewis’ Narnia series. I was captivated by the stories of this magical kingdom and its Lion king Aslan. When I read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe I recognised in this story the similarity of Aslan’s death, to the death and resurrection of Jesus. I saw in Aslan, a Jesus figure who died to save Edmund’s life. I even went to my grade 2 teacher and complained that the author had copied the Bible. She was kind and said that C.S Lewis wrote his story deliberately for children to understand why Jesus died. The teacher called it an allegory. I read the books avidly from that time on and imagined Aslan as my friend just like he was a friend to the 4 children in the story. I imagined Jesus as this big maned lion who speaks in a voice that almost takes your breath away when you hear it. I became a follower of Jesus in that 7^th year of my life.

Who gives you your breath?  Who takes your breath away at the end of your life?  It is God who gives and takes away.  In the Hebrew language of the Bible, the word for breath is closely associated with the word for spirit-Ruach.  When you stop breathing  for the final time, your spirit departs from your body.  So our breath is vital for life, and has been given to us by God just like our spirit comes from God who is a Spirit. In the bible the word for Spirit and breath and wind are sometimes interchangeable.

John 3:8 NIV  The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

John 4:23-24 NIV  “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.  God is Spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Mindfulness meditation focusses on breathing because of the calming effect of slow breathing.  However, I challenge my readers to notice their breath because it is a gift from God.  When I became a follower of Jesus – I also received His Holy Spirit within me as a gift from God.  So my focus when I am being mindful is to thank God for every breath, every inspiration and expiration. Just as Jesus breathed on his disciples to receive the Holy Spirit, I imagine Jesus breathing on me.  By faith I receive the same Holy Spirit. So I can thank God for giving me His Holy Spirit.  I ask the Holy Spirit to flow in my breath and to give me inspiration and revelation.  I don’t focus on my breathing as in other meditative practices-but  I am grateful for my breath and I bring my focus to my Heavenly Father who gave me each breath and the gift of the Holy Spirit. As I grew older I had further experiences with the Holy Spirit which I will write about in later blogs.

I want to finish with a short passage from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe which illustrates breath and life and spirit. If you don’t know the story of the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe- I will give a short summary. Narnia is a magical land where a White Witch has ruled for a very long time and made the seasons always winter.  A prophecy from long ago, has predicted that one day 4 children will come and be crowned kings and queens when Aslan returns. Into this land 4 English children (Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy), stumble as they enter through a magical wardrobe at different times. First Lucy enters and meets a faun called Tumnus who initially wanted to capture her to take her to the witch but then he realises that he really likes Lucy and decides to send her back through the wardrobe. Next Edmund enters and meets the witch who enchants him with sweets and promises to make him a ruler over his brother and sisters. Later when all four children enter Narnia they meet a talking beaver and his wife who warn the children of the dangers of the White Witch. But Edmund decides to go off on his own to find the Palace of the Witch. The other three children realise how dangerous the witch is and they set off to rescue their brother. The witch is very angry and has made her enemies stone. She is desperate to capture the children to stop the prophecy from coming true.  She ties Edmund up and plans to use him against Aslan.

The three children meet Aslan.  Aslan has a showdown with the wicked witch and in the process makes a secret deal to offer himself in exchange for Edmund. The witch ties Aslan to a stone table and slays him with a knife while the two sisters watch from a distance.  Later they weep tears over Aslan’s body as a group of mice come to gnaw at the ropes binding his body. The stone table breaks into two pieces and Aslan comes back to life. The girls hop onto Aslan’s back as they fly through the air to the witch’s palace.

Here they discover all the creatures turned into stone by the witch’s spells. I quote from the book from here on.

“What an extraordinary place!” cried Lucy.  “All these stone animals – and people too! It’s – it’s like a museum.”

“Hush,” said Susan, “Aslan is doing something.”

He was indeed. He had bounded up to the stone lion and breathed on him. Then without waiting a moment he whisked round – almost as if he had been a cat chasing its tail – and breathed also on the stone dwarf, which (as you remember) was standing a few feet from the lion with his back to it. Then he pounced on a tall stone dryad which stood beyond the dwarf, turned rapidly aside to deal with a stone rabbit on his right, and rushed on to two centaurs.  But at that moment Lucy said,

“Oh Susan! Look! Look at the lion.”

I expect you’ve seen someone put a lighted match to a bit of newspaper which is propped up in a grate against an unlit fire. And for a second nothing seems to have happened; and then you notice a tiny streak of flame creeping along the edge of the newspaper. It was like that now. For a second after Aslan had breathed upon him the stone lion looked just the same. Then a tiny streak of gold began to run along his marble back – then it spread – then the colour seemed to lick all over him as the flame licks all over a bit of paper – then, while his hindquarters were still obviously stone, the lion shook his mane and all the heavy, stone folds rippled into living hair. Then he opened a great red mouth, warm and living, and gave a prodigious yawn. And now his hind legs had come to life. He lifted one of them and scratched himself. Then, having caught sight of Aslan, he went bounding after him and frisking round him whimpering with delight and jumping up to lick his face.

Lewis C.S (1950) The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe Pages 152-153 Penguin Books Australia 1979 edition.

I love the imagery used by C.S Lewis in this book. I encourage you to be grateful for every breath you breathe. It is my hope that as Aslan breathes on you- you will be free from the enchanter’s curse, and free to frolic with your King.